Mondayy.

Today I feel: Tired
Why I feel like I do: 3 hours sleep.
What I'm going to do about it: Sleep better tonight!

I have a night shift tomorrow and ugh, I don't wanna do it, but I need to cause I need the money. Then I'll only need £360. It's not looking like I'm gunna get all the money by the time I need to but Mum said she'd lend me it should I find myself short and I'll just have to pay her back.

I'm so damn tired, keep having nightmares and struggling to get to sleep heh. Been listening to music to try and help but it doesn't help.

Been listening to Iris by Goo Goo Dolls a lot and Firework by Katy Perry, I like both songs heh.

Mum's watching Gordon Ramsey and he scares the fuck outta me cause he's always shouting and I don't like it ><

Missed Rachel today...kinda on purpose. I feel...different around her atm, but I'm hoping that'll change, but I feel like she can see this part of me I don't want her to. When she asks me how I am I don't feel like I can just brush it off with my usual answer of fine cause she looks at me all suspicious heh. I feel a lot of the time like she's looking at me...like watching me but I don't think she is..yet I feel it? Like when I picked up the knife to cut open the cardboard bale I *knew* she was watching me and it made me really uncomfortable I mean like..really? Apart from the fact the knife can't cut shit, I'm not gunna use something gross and dirty that I don't "know". Eh, it's annoying. But do I expect anything different? One of the things she said to me was that I didn't look like someone that would SI...I look "normal". Well, I'm finally normal in something, shame it's not true -.- I feel like I need to reassure her that I'm not going to fuck about with every sharp object I come into contact with!

My laptop keeps overheating cause the fucking cooler broke -.- This is like the 5th one I've had! They can't cope with this computer, I swear. This one actually kept it vaguely cool, but now I can feel the heat in the palm of my hands where they are resting on it.

So, now I'm scooting, laters. x