Halloweeeeeeen!

Now, we all know kids love Halloween, so a head full of littles makes for an exciting time!
I decided to make of a list of who is what!
So!

The Littles:
Harly - A fairy. Typically pink, tutu, wings, wand.
Coogar - A flower. A blue one with her face painted yellow.
Cassilyn - A hamster. Quinn painted her face and stuck whiskers on her ^.^
Butterfly - Funnily enough she's a...Bee. Yeah, I don't get it either.
Kelly and Kasey - Thing 1 and Thing 2
Bayley - A Wizard with an awesome pointy hat.
Dorry - A spider :D
Shaya - A witch
Salix - A bunny
Dot and Dash - Milk and Cookie
Taylor - Jessie from Toy Story
Taz - Tazzy Devil!
Lorelei - A soldier
Boo - A pirate

The Pixies:
Dougie, Switcher, Kaelyn, Foxa, Jaxal - A chain gang!
Sabrae - Chain gang leader

The Adults/Minders:
Tommy - Voldemort
Tony - Buzz Lightyear
Isabella - A firework
Quinn - The Joker
Alix - A bunny to match Salix's
Fernando - A soldier to match Lorelei's
Zephyr - Dumble-Door. A door w/ "dumble" written on it.
Camryn - Cleopatra
Calleigh - A butterfly
Newt - A feather boa
Echo - A "sexy" devil -.-
Boy - Zorro
Charlie - Sully from Monsters Inc

The Others:
Teeq - A Fish
Sook - A Pumpkin
Neyvari - Skeleton

Sylva (human) - Grim Reaper
Skye (human) - Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast
Sioux (human) - Dracula.

The main room has been altered. It's all black with skeletons and bats hanging around with glow-in-the-dark stars everywhere. Along w/ florescent hand prints from each alter and/or paw prints with their names written underneath. The tree has been decorated and painted with dangling things and bats and all sorts. The room has been split into areas with two or three minders leading the groups of littles and the other minders have set up areas where they are doing trick or treating for the littles. It's pretty awesome and children scary :P

They're organising pumpkin's for the littles to carve and they're gunna have a party with punch and allsorts. It'sa be awesomeeeeeeee!

Happy Halloween everyone!

Dentist

I had the dentist on Tuesday. Not my normal dentist or the sedation referral dentist, this is implant dentist.
My normal dentist, Miss, Mistry, is awesome. She talks me through everything, tells me everything, keeps me calm and doesn't mind when I bite her. She's got little hands so she doesn't "invade" my mouth. She helps me feel safe when I'm scared and freaking out and she reminds me that I'm okay.
Sedation referral dentist, the awesome aussies, were awesome. They made me giggle, helped me stay calm..though I imagine the sedation helped. They had amusing accents. They didn't scare me at all, totally laid back and I didn't feel..unsafe. Like I knew I wasn't gunna remember anything but it didn't scare me once I'd met them and it made me happy that they both remembered me.
Implant dentist, Dr. Panda (not his real name, I forget it) is terrifying. He has huge hands, he's constantly prodding around my mouth even when it's not necessary. He doesn't talk to me he talks over my head to my parents. He's loud. He scares me so so much. I don't like him touching me. I don't like how he ignores me. I don't like when he put the mould in my mouth he held my mouth shut instead of asking me to bite down. He stabbed me in the gum with his nail. Through his glove. Even though I yelped and I pushed his hand away he just continued. Don't like him.

But. I have to see him. He's my now current dentist until all of this is over and done with. Which is going to be a while. He doesn't think I need sedation to have him drilling into my jaw bone. For some odd reason I disagree. I'd need sedation with Miss. Mistry to be drilling in my jaw bone! But with him hanging over me being handsy in my mouth? I need a full blown knock out. He WILL have to knock me out else I'll just go somewhere else for my implants. But I can't move now, Mum's all RAHH in my face.

Other than that. I'm getting my material possibly tomorrow, possibly at the weekend for Batman's present. I'm kinda excited to be making it but it's gunna seriously suck.
Lit'lun. I dunno if you've got access to a computer, but I need you to know I love you. You're family and you mean everything to me.
Batman, that goes to you as well. I love you both, seriously. I don't know what I'd do without either of you. Please keep safe. Keep On Keepin' On. Ohana.

I don't know how I've been feeling lately except shitty. The body memories have reall fucked with my head. I tried putting my bracelet back on tonight. It was off inside of a minute. Too heavy too..real.

Cassie spoke yesterday. Said "N" "D" as she signed. She was sat with Quinn. Curled up between her legs holding her hand til she started to sign. She's been doing brilliant lately, she's less freaked out and a lot calmer. She's doesn't want to learn much more sign language at the minute, she prefers to just finger spell because words confuse her.

Luff to all. x

body memories

body memories
tryna convince myself isnt real
tryna convince myself is just in my head
scared
can feel him holding my wrists
can feel him behind me
feel him on my chest holding me
feelhiminside
throatssore
chestssore
wristssore
insidessore
dont know if pains are real pains or memory pains
keeps switching
different pains
different places
dunno how much more can take before i break


"But the only anesthetic that makes me feel anything kills inside."

m'sorry

m'sorry i can't do as i'm told
m'sorry i said no
m'sorry i thought i could be okay
m'sorry i pretended
m'sorry i cried
m'sorry i couldn't be good enough
m'sorry i can't be what you want me to be
m'sorry i can't do what you want me too
m'sorry i wanna hurt myself
m'sorry i keep trying
m'sorry i ignored you
m'sorry i didn't listen
m'sorry
m'sorry
m'sorry

Yeah.

So Oskar, Chase and Angel are gone too.
But now we have Jessica, Minnow and Harly.
Minnow is a shifter.
Jessica we think is human.
Harly we think is human but she is very young.

Uh..I need to make changes to the various pages.

Jessica is looking after Minnow.
Minnow and Bayley are almost constantly shifting.
Harly recognised Cassie. Quinn's been looking after her too heh. Harly Quinn -.-