Saturrdaaay.

I have lurgies. It's making me feel rough and VERY tired. Uhhhhm. Stuff.
I'm being forced to watch Eurovision. There is a guy that I woulda sworn was a chick. With a bowl cut. And generally looks like a knob. Might be better if I spoke Serbian and could understand but I highly doubt it..
Wow...it's taken my words away from me. I'm actually speechless for once in my life.
I'm stunned.
Gobsmacked.
And slightly distressed.
His name is Skankovich..makes sense lol.

Yeah...so now it's finished and I've regained my ability to function, I had work today. It rained. I got rained upon. Uhmm. Farrier came...he got wet. We were all rained upon!

I hurt my back, ankles and knees bu simply being alive lol. LOL! Graham Norton said "humdinger" and I spat and snorted. Skillz.
The song is called Butterflies and my head responded. The man has nice hair but a stupid goatee that is half a cm long and looks like he has dinner on his chin...This song will give me a headache if they keep saying BF.

So yes.

Love you Little Fish.

Mm.

Yeah.
Apparently exploding in front of mum cause I'm fed up of her and dad having a go at me whenever I pick up my guitar is inappropriate and shit. I just want some support, I'm fed up of being constantly to shut up and I'm making a fucking racket etc. Why can't they be proud that I've learnt something musical myself and I'm doing fine learning and that I want to show them what I can do? I don't get it. I did it by myself, why won't they be proud or at least pretend to be proud of me?
Makes me wanna give up guitar.
All I want is for mum to be proud of me and something I did.
Hah. Now I'm crying, fucking great.

Miss you, love you. Fish x

It's depressing. I have an exam Friday and I don't want to go. I can't sit still for 2 hours straight. I'm not ready. I have Chem homework that I have to hand in tomorrow which I haven't done cause I was watching a film. I need to do something..but I forgot what it was. Revise probably.
Whatever. I'll fail anyway. Same for all my exams. Yay for having my failings printed on a piece of paper.

Uh, hi heh.

Uh, hi again. Yeah, I'm back. And alive, heh.
So, I need to post about the twins #2 and Ghost, uhm, yeah.
I'm okay I guess, better than before by far. Dunno what else to say, heh.
Uh, bye.

An update of sorts.

I was meant to say this earlier but I forgot and only remembered when I was talking to Leila.
We're working on integration again. Mikki and Laia are fading and they've writen up their stories. They'll be completely gone in a week or so we believe. We want to work on integrating Coog, Ty and Gabe next. Then the newer alters, Ghost, Dot and Dash, Syl and Skye. We're hoping to get down to having just, Cam, Tazzy, Boo, Zee, Kell and Kase and myself. We will get there, fairly soon, hopefully.
Yeah, I'm finishing Van Helsing then I'm going to bed. Laters.

A message from Charlie.

Miste has two new alters. Dot and Dash, they're twins. They speak as one 99% of the time. I'm meant to do a write up about them and Ghost seen as Miste hasn't been around to do it. I hate being out. It's fucking boring. And I had to do her Chemistry homework, like what the fuck. I'm off now, I'm bored and talking via blog to people feels retarded. Laters.

Alright.

Alright.
Figured seen as I'm out I'd make myself useful and post an update on here. She's fine. Well, her body is fine. Mentally she is fucked up. She tried to OD, took about 30 odd tablets before I managed to get out and make her throw up. We don't want her out because we don't trust her to not do something stupid. She was briefly out earlier and the first thing she did was grab a knife. So she is staying inside.
Not much else to say. The dog's confused but he'll get over it.
Laters.

Falling apart.

there were people here an i got hurt now all i want to do is just die simply die i dont wanna be here i dont wanna fight it no more i give up want out
confused and hurt and an dirty an disgusting feel worse than i ever did before dunno how to make it go away its all over me coating me wanna peel off my skin an see if there is a clean bit inside but i doubt it
scared an im crying an no matter how much i try i cant get the images out my head sounds the sounds are worse trying to use music to block them out but isnt working sechoing round and round an round an round an getting louder an louder
dont wanna be here at all no more no more
meant to be going out tomorrow but mnot going will be home lone so can do whatever an will have 3 hours plus to do what i need to
msorry