Been away for a while. Spuddy was put down on Friday morning. I went with him and I watched him go. Watched his life drain away. His lungs were bleeding bad. When he went blood came out his nose and mouth. Was best choice. Miss him.
We're getting puppies. "To fill the hole." House is empty. When I come home, there's no Spuddy to greet me at the door. When Postie posts no Spuddy to bark at him. No Spuddy to say g'night to. Say I love him every night. Tell him good night. Ask God to keep him safe. Hope He listens. Just this once. I love my Spuddy and I always will.
Gotta make a card for Kyumi to say thank you. She cried when she put him down. Almost much as me and Dad.
Puppies are a boy and a girl. Jake and Zoey. Jake is mine and Zoey is Smell's. Get 'em in 25 days. Excited. But..scared. Scared Spuddy will think I'm replacing him.
Wanna SI. Been playing with blades when noone can see. Charlie stopped me hurting myself Friday night. Wish she hadn't.
Wanna go see Ellie. Calms my mind. Makes it shut up. Ghost's been bugging the boys. They get annoyed. Charlie gets annoyed. Charlie gets mad. Shouts. Scares us. Littles get shaky. So do I.
Gun play guitar.
Love you Little Fish. Love you Batman.
Sorry I'm not better than this.
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